Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Envelope, Please ....

Random Bullets of Bulletable Randomness ... The Awards Edition

¤ The "Did-You-Really-Mean-To-Say-That" comment of the day: You look so cute in your shirt and pants. And the alternative?????

¤ The "Really-I-Understand-You're-Just-Nervous" comment of Freshman Registration: [Standing at the R-Z basket of folders] Welcome. How can I help you tonight? I'm here to pick up my packet — my last name begins with R. And the second letter? A. [Meanwhile, chuckling mom is standing behind her, telling her to just say her name.] Fortunately, the kid could join us in enjoying the entertainment of the moment, though she was still somewhat sheepish and embarrassed. But really, it's allowed. After all, it's a big night for the eighth-graders. Besides, at least her mom had her go up and talk to us to get the packet, as opposed to the parents who were doing all the talking .... or the kids who just stood there on their cell phones and made their parents do everything ....

¤ The "What-A-Waste-Of-Random-Rebelliousness" thought of last Friday: Beautiful sunshiney day .... 70 degrees .... no school (because of freshman registration the night before) .... heading off to a weekend at the Monsterary for community meetings .... grand success in getting thoroughly caught up with all the grading (quarter ends this Friday) .... getting dressed (after a morning and early afternoon in pj's) .... deciding that Santa socks are really the way to go .... and no one even noticed!!!!!

¤ The "Nice-Save" comment of the classroom: [Student working supposed to be working on project with her group, yet somehow has managed to mislocate herself to the other side of the computer lab to a more entertaining conversational partner. Madame Teacher Nun reminds student's internal GPS to the actual location of her legitimate group, slightly irritating the positionally-challenged pupil.] Jesus Christ ... is my savior!

¤ The "I-Can't-Even-Answer-With-Anything-Other-Than-A-Laugh-And-Shaking-Of-The-Head" question of Group #3: [Students are in mini-monastic communities, deciding on and writing a Rule for Life, with various requirements that need to be hashed out, like how they'll do charity, elect superiors, etc.] Does it have to be all-boys or all-girls? We want to have a co-ed monastery, with hot tub parties every Friday.

¤ The "I'm-Beginning-To-Notice-A-Theme" moment of the afternoon: [Different group and class/section, same project] Can we do bikini carwashes to raise money for the poor? We'll do bikinis and a habit. This group also wins the "What-A-Difference-One-Letter-Could-Make" prize for the name of their group: Nuns in Naples [Got spring break on the minds, girls?]

¤ The "What-A-Difference-One-Hard-Return/Line-Break-Makes" snippet from emailed announcements: Someone had submitted a note in letter form to be included in the announcements; when it was included, it was in paragraph form. Consequently, what should probably have read as a "Sincerely yours" type of sentiment instead came out as the rather ambiguous "God bless you, Sister Mary Note-Writer."

¤ The "You-Have-A-Point-There" statement during a tornado drill: If this was the real thing, do you really think we'd all be quiet? [Although I suppose you don't have to talk to be texting ....]

¤ The "Aww, Shucks" line of the weekend: [The Reluctant Nun™ always thinks it's a cool idea to draw individual little Christmas cards for all 175+ members of her religious community ... until it's Christmas Eve, and she's kicking herself, wondering what she was thinking, while she's trying frantically to finish writing the little notes on the back. During community meetings this past weekend, a sister who TRN™ doesn't know all that well and who lives/works maybe 3 hours away from the monsterary passes TRN™ on the stairs] I want you to know that I only have two Christmas cards still — the one from my parents and yours. [TRN™ sheepishly kind of hems and haws, dismissing it as something that she kicks herself for] No, really ... it's a real ministry. [TRN™ just hopes that Distant Sister remembers to write that on TRN™'s evaluation form.]

¤ The "Wow-They-Really-Do-Listen-Sometimes" Lenten enlightenments [there's a tie]: A teacher reports being asked by a student what he's going to give up for Lent; he says he's giving up McDonald's so he can lose weight; student severely chastises him that if you're doing it just for you, then that doesn't count. A parent (of a different student) during conferences comments that her daughter says she's not religious, but the mom knows she's at least learning something — during a conversation about the beginning of Lent, mom gets told off by her daughter that losing weight is not the point of a Lenten resolution, that it can be a side benefit but not the primary purpose. Mom then says that she'll give up the vending machines at work; girl then questions the motivations there as well — is she doing it for the sacrifice, or just to not spend the money?

¤ The "OK-So-Maybe-It's-Worth-It" warm fuzzy of teaching: Last semester, while teaching New Testament, the students also received the bonus education of guided lectio divina. [Some perhaps liked it more for the quiet potential for semi-officially-sanctioned naptime, but still ...] Today, the practice was re-introduced for the first time this semester, with a quick overview given for the students who missed out and got stuck with had the other nun— and immediately the "old-timers" settled right back into it again.

¤ The "Just-When-You-Throught-It-Couldn't-Get-Any-More-Awkward" purely hypothetical trauma of the month: The Reluctant Nun™ has, on occasion, been known to feel mildly self-conscious about initiating conversations about even semi-serious stuff, especially if it is a situation in which her self-esteem-of-a-toothpick kicks in. So, to save the initial heebie-jeebiedness, she has, on occasion, been known to write a note instead, to at least get the ball rolling. That, of course, generates a realm of awkwardness all its own, for then there's the "What will they think? It's stupid to write a note when they're right there. Will they say something, or do I just squirm?" So perhaps, on an occasion when TRN™ knew there'd be some late-afternoon captive-audience time in a car for conversation, perhaps a note was dropped into the top of a purse. Squirminess may have been avoided for the bulk of the trip, until perhaps the passenger in the car went to put sunglasses away in the last moments of the trip and lets out an "Oh, what's this?" while pulling out a little folded paper, opening it up, and reading it. I'mTRN™'s telling you, that was hypothetically could be the longest mile and a half ever travelled!!!

¤ And lastly, but definitely not leastly ... The "Will-You-All-Ever-Forgive-Me-And/Or-Believe-Me-When-I-Say-I'll-Be-Better-About-Blogging" question of the year: Ummm .... wait a second, I just asked it. Great, now I'll never be able to show my face around these parts again. .... Except .... my face doesn't show on here (not unless you look for it). And it's not like my face has been unshown much here lately anyway ..... hmmmmm.....


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this, especially the ones about teaching as that's heavy on my mind with the Teacher's College decisions coming down in less than three weeks. Thanks for a morning chuckle when I really needed it. :)

3/14/2007 9:03 AM  
Blogger Garpu the Fork said...

Since Fridays are traditionally days of penance and abstinence, wouldn't the co-ed hot tub parties be more appropriate on a Saturday? ;)

3/14/2007 4:56 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

These are great, Steph! Glad to "see" you in the blogosphere.

3/17/2007 7:55 AM  

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