Friday, September 30, 2005

Are you jealous?

Have you been reading blogs lately? Do you find yourself seeing posts by people like Susan Rose and Natty, as they talk about visiting their "groovy sisters"? Are you shocked and slightly embarassed (as were the other vegetables at the sight of Larry in a towel) to discover these odd pangs of envy, wishing secretly that somehow, someday, you too could have a set of groovy sisters of your own?

Well, pine away no longer, folks! The day you've been longing for has arrived. I'm here to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime. That's right, for a limited time only, you can have the chance to visit with the grooviest sisters around, the Benedictines. That's right, the Benedictines. Everybody knows that the Benedictines are the coolest group of sisters ever -- no offense to Susan and Natty. Although admit it, you two. Deep down, in your heart of hearts, when you're really honest with yourself, you know you wish more than anything in the world that you could be even half as cool as we are. But, you've made your choice, so I guess you'll just have to suffer through it. Good luck, hahaha. Oh wait, am I still typing? Dagnabit! Pay no attention to the voice coming out of the keyboard! And back to our regularly scheduled infomercial.
I apologize for that interruption. I will try to keep my ..... ahhh .... evil twin ... out of the range of the keys.

Now, you might be asking yourself, "Self, who is this freak that gives her evil twin access to her blog? And why do I keep calling you self instead of your name? And, most importantly, how in the world can I ever find myself so blessed as to be able to be among the fortunate few to experience such a fantabulous opportunity?"

Well, ask no longer, because all it takes is a simple click
here. That's all you've gotta do, and you'll be set with a weekend with the coolest folks ever to set foot in religious life.

"Do I have to be a girl to come?" I'm sorry to say, but yes. After all, we are the grooviest sisters ... so we're limiting our offer to single women between the ages of 19 and 40. Besides, boys have cooties. Ewwwww!

"What do we get to do?" Well, there's the chance to share in the life and prayer of the Benedictine community, and get a little sense of what this is all about.

"Really? I bet it costs an arm and a leg." Nope. "An arm?" Nope. "Not even a thumb?" Nope, nope, and nope. How much would YOU expect an opportunity like this to go for?

But wait .... there's more! Along with experiencing the Benedictine way of life, you also will get the chance to meet and visit with other women who are asking the same questions you are. And, as an added bonus, you'll even recieve a free presentation on "Discernment: Listening to God's Voice."

"Wow! That's amazing!" Isn't it, though?

"Wait a second, what's the catch? Does this mean I have to sign my life away to the monastery forever?"
Nope to that, too. This is a no-strings-attached kind of deal. No commitment, no cash, no crackers (OK, maybe some crackers). All you need to do is get yourself here; we'll take care of the rest.

"But what if I have to fly or take the bus?" No problem. Just like Enterprise -- we'll pick you up!

"And it'll cost me nothing?" Yep. The only expense will be the muscle movement to click the
link and send the e-mail. "And it doesn't mean I'm signing up?" Nope, just that you're checking it out.

And I haven't even mentioned the best part yet. As an added incentive, if you call within the next two weeks, you'll receive the extraordinary privilege of spending a weekend with yours truly. That's right, call now and you'll not only get to meet me in person, you'll even get to hang out with me, your beneficent (and blathering) blogger for a whole weekend. Now who could pass an opportunity like that up???

"Not me! I'm so excited! How long will I have to wait, though? I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it!"
But think of the anticipation. It's only two weeks away, a mere fortnight. That's only half of Advent. October 14-16 will be here before you know it.

So call now, folks. Operators are standing by. But do it soon, because supplies are limited. After all, you don't expect opportunities like this to come along every day, do you? Of course, if you miss this one, there will be another (differently-themed) one in January .... and then another in March .... plus the Advent and Lenten Days of Reflection .... and the extra-special week-long experience in the summer, but we're not talking about those right now. Dagnabit! Did it again! I'm gonna have to fire me from this job if I keep this up. Bad me!
Seriously, though .... it's a great time to meet some folks and check things out if you're interested or even slightly thinking about [or trying to avoid thinking about (as was the case with me)] religious life. It's a very low-key time -- no pressure, I promise! -- and with me on the team I guarantee that there will be plenty of entertainment to be had! So, if you're interested or have any questions or anything like that, just send an e-mail to the spam-guarded address listed in my sidebar. Check it out, we'd love to have you!

And thus, we conclude our shameless plug for the day. Thanks a lot folks, and have a great weekend. Peace out.
[This, by the way, is the disappearing post .... not quite as easy or fun the second time around .... nargh .... stupid evil twin!]

6 Comments:

Blogger Susan Rose, CSJP said...

Great post!

... and there's more than enough grooviness to go around :)

9/30/2005 9:48 PM  
Blogger Natty said...

Yes, Steph, that was a really fun one... so much so that I'm maybe kinda sorta considering possibly whether I might be able to come down for it... maybe? ;-) Cuz, oddly enough, I actually have nothing on my calendar for that weekend. So we'll see...

10/02/2005 10:36 PM  
Blogger Natty said...

Wow! Ferdinand's a LOT further away from Ft. Wayne than I realized... Hmm...

10/02/2005 10:41 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

Hey, if I can fly from DC every month for a year before entering ....

There's also a possibility that someone else from that area might be coming if you want to hook up & carpool ....

Not that I'm trying to peer pressure you or anything like that! :-Þ

10/02/2005 10:59 PM  
Blogger Natty said...

Oh, I forgot to give you props on your Veggie Tales reference. I LOVE Veggie Tales silly songs!!!!

If I *do* come, I'd pretty much arrive late, since I don't get off work till 2:30. Yahoo Maps has the drive time at 6 hours, but that just doesn't seem right. It can't take that long to get from any point in Indiana to any other point in the same state, can it??

I dunno, I'll think/pray on it this week. Though getting to meet you *would* be a Big Bonus! Are you worth $3+/gallon for gas?? ;-) [Note the gaping opening for your ego to dance around in!]

10/03/2005 9:56 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

Cost of transport: Gas
Cost of weekend: Free
Meeting me: Priceless

In terms of coming late, that's not really a big deal --- we know with travel plans that people come all different times, so Friday night is just low-key introductions/icebreakers/hang out. (Of course, now that I think about it, Saturday night is ALSO low-key hang-out fun time!). There was one person who'd visit, in fact, who could never make it here before 11:30 Friday night .... so we're used to it.

And, as I said, I could check and see if there's anyone coming from up that way .... but that can sometimes be hit or miss, depending on how personalities mix for the duration of the drive!

With taking that long to get .... I guess that's what the whole uproar about I-69 is. I don't know, I'm not from Indiana, so I don't always get all caught up in the politics kinds of things. But I guess there's no north/south interstate in Indiana.

Feel free to e-mail me. I couldn't find an address on your page, but I might not have been looking hard enough.

It'll be fun ...... :p

10/03/2005 11:20 AM  

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