My "Weekend Wondering" Thoughts

Some cool thoughts came through on this one. Andrea raised the issue of the "jealous God" and I found myself struck by a new way of viewing that. Generally, the word "jealous" has such negative connotations. But in reading Andrea's comment, I realized that it's more in the selfish sense, out of love ... wanting us all for himself, wanting to be the focus of our attentions. Kinda like how I relish my role as "favorite aunt."

Seeking_Something and Lorna both seem to go with the idea that our choice is made for eternity -- Seeking b/c once you stand before God and still say no, odds are you won't change your mind; Lorna allows the possibility of an escape clause but doesn't want to bank on it. Andrea initially agreed as well, saying that without "the option to say no in a final way" the idea of free will is negated. But, once I devil's-advocatedly asked about changing one's mind .... she then said Hmmmmm.

I liked Lorem's very concrete and definitive "Yes, there is a hell. It is a state of mind." The piece about making the choice to crawl out and the difficulty involved in staying in the rediscovered light reminded me of Madeleine L'Engle's reflections on the post-crucifixion Judas -- a beautiful legend that describes the thousands of years before Judas finally hauls himself out of the pit ... and what happens on his ultimate emergence.

To quote my teacher-self: "In my mind I believe ..." I'm kinda with Jo(e) on this. I find it hard to reconcile the all-loving all-merciful God with the God who will smiteth me to Hell if when I screw up too many times. The way I put it with the kids, I can't see God sending me to hell. At the same time ... it's my choice. The way I see it, I can choose to go towards God, or choose to turn away from God. But, if God has the unlimited unreserved love that I'm telling the kids that he has ... I've gotta believe that God will be right there waiting, the moment I turn back around towards him. Yeah, sure, there's the story of Lazarus and the rich man. But what about the Prodigal Son (or, as some say, the Prodigal Father) -- "While he was still a far way off, his father saw him and ran to meet him" ... looking out the window, watching, waiting for that moment of return, of "coming to [our] senses."

How many of us faulty and flawed human parents would continue to support and love our children despite their errors in judgment? And so how much more would our heavenly father do so? (Another cool L'Engle snippet on this thought, too.) Our book mentions that the presence of evil is our doing, that it is we who reject God, not vice versa. Like the kid who runs away from home, and then calls their parents from the bus station -- yeah, sure, the mom'll be mad, but I'm thinking that the relief at the kid's safety and the joy at their return would far outweigh the wrath and anger of that immediate moment. Not to say that there wouldn't (or shouldn't) be consequences, but love is ultimately the overriding feature (theoretically, anyway -- as I said, we are all faulty and flawed and less-than-perfect human beings).

With the turning away from God ... how many kids stay on the streets or in other "bad" situations out of fear of going back home -- and how many of those worst nightmares end up being realized? I think we are our own harshest judges, and give ourselves our own worst punishments. Again with kids -- I've found that if I ask the kids what they feel the consequences should be for their actions, they are generally far more extensive than what I would have even thought of assigning them. Think of The Mission, the scene where Mendoza climbs the cliff with all his weapons and chains, and the response of the priest who is frustrated by their slow progress up the mountain. If we, when we feel worthy enough to turn back to God ... we will have already done far more penance than God would require. After all, just the simple act of turning back is all he asks.

And, again, from my perspective ... I think the choice to turn towards or away from God can be made even by those who don't openly subscribe to the idea of "God." I ask the kids what's more important -- where they are for one hour Sunday morning, or how they live the other 6 days and 23 hours of the week? How well are they living out their Christian message if they are in the front pew at church and singing in the choir, and then getting a case of massive road rage in the slow-moving parking lot after Mass? I know people who insist that they have not a single spiritual bone in their body that are more Christ-like than those who are in church every evening. Look at Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, run by the Reverend Fred Phelps. I won't dignify their actions by a link, but I will let the record show that tolerance.org lists them as a "hate group" alongside the Klan, neo-nazis, and racist skinheads. You can't tell me that Fred Phelps has more of a "right" to be in heaven than Abraham Joshua Heschel.

But, of course, do any of us have a "right" to be in heaven? After all, do my previous comments about Westboro Baptist make me any more Christian than Phelps himself? We say the Lord's Prayer ... but how much do we realize what we're truly requesting when we ask God to forgive us in the same manner that we forgive others? We are ALL flawed and faulty human beings, but we were still made that way by God, "who saw that it was good." In my mind, perseverence has to count for something ... and so all I can do is try, try again. And fall flat on my face, and try, try again. And fall flat on my face once more and try ....

Although ... I may have mentioned this before, but ... this has all been what I think, but we can't know -- because it's an attitude that grows out of your own individual view and image and understanding of God ......

..... And that's different for everyone.