Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Why I LOVE My Job ...

Below is a series of e-mails that circulated the school building between the hours of 7:00 and 11:00 this morning, involving over ten different faculty member's contributions. (One teacher was saying after school that she wanted to send one that said "You all have too much time on your hands" ... but she didn't have time to!).

[FYI: The e-mail subject line was "Sad News" .... SACS is the school accreditation board that was here for its visit today .... I contributed the condolence note and the scriptural allusion]

So, without further ado, may I present to you, for your reading enjoyment:

The Sorrow of
The Spoon

We are very saddened by the loss of the coffee measuring spoon that resides in any current open can of coffee. It is my hope that someone wanted the empty coffee can (generally they are saved for me so that I can recycle them) and took it with the spoon inside. If this is the case, coffee lovers school wide will rejoice at its return. I just hope no one threw the old can away with the spoon in it. Recycling is one way for us to show reverence for God's gift of our beautiful world.

I would like to extend my deepest condolences to all who are affected by this terrible loss. I, myself, would be more directly impacted by a hot chocolate spoon, but I can only imagine the sadness this must evoke for those more involved than I. Although I am sure the spoon can never be replaced, I hope that there is some way to adapt and carry on.

Thank you.

I, for one, am all for bringing in a Senseo single cup/double cup coffee maker into the kitchen. It makes great coffee, only when you need it, takes 30 seconds, and does not sit, burn, and become bitter throughout the day (no, wait, that describes me too…aaaahhhh). If anyone wants to chip in and help buy one, I’ll get it at Target. They run about $50 or so. People can then choose the strength coffee they want, and it will be fresh all the time. Yummmy. Would also save me from spending way too much at Heine Brothers.

Should we not have a memorial liturgy for the coffee spoon? It just seems that something that meant so much to our faculty should be properly mourned.

I just overheard that some "fruit juice drinking group" which detests the coffee contingency is holding the spoon for ransom. I'm not sure what they want. More to follow...

It sounds like a terrorist organization to me. Should we call the Office of Homeland Security?

Wonderful news! The coffee measuring spoon has returned!!! It apparently went on a brief vacation but decided this was not the weather for it. It is back in the coffee can helping us to make drinkable coffee.

As a religion teacher, I feel immediately struck by the parallels to Luke 15:11-32 ... The Return of the Prodigal Spoon. We should pull some cream from the fatted calf to celebrate!

For the feast table, be sure to bring some lilies of the field for they neither toil nor spoon...so I'm sure they weren't involved.

Hey diddle, diddle, Administration’s in the middle
But SACS will be over soon
The faculty is laughing to see such sport
Because Amy ran away with the spoon

I find it interesting that as soon as Homeland Security is mentioned, the errant spoon returns. The plot (and obviously the pot) thickens.

I have never heard so much fuss over a spoon in my life!!!!

Even a silver one?

Evidently we're not the only folks to make a big fuss over a spoon
--- Spoon Bridge Walker Art Center Minneapolis

This concludes today's episode of "Life in the Faculty Room." Tune in next week to hear Principal B. notice the fridge and gasp: "It's ... it's ... it's alive!!!!!"


Blogger Natty said...

LOL!!!! My mom quite enjoyed this post as I read it to her too. She agreed that you have too much time on your hands! But don't mind her, she's a surgery nurse. No time to email--or do silly things like have a lunch break--during work hours for her. Me, I'm all for workplace wit and folly! Was that "as a Religion Teacher" bit your contribution to the conversation? Anyway, it just shows what creative, brilliant, and fun-loving teachers you have edifying the students!

10/25/2005 6:39 PM  

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