One Year ..... So What?

Part of our formation class on Saturday involved a discussion of the address that our prioress gave at the beginning of July Community Days. As all of us "new kids" shared something that struck us as we read the talk, I was taken by the comment made by one of my semi-adopted classmates. She was referencing the centerpiece of Chapter Four of the Rule, where Benedict tells us that Your way of acting should be different from the world's way; the love of Christ must come before all else. Her thought was... how different is our way?? She was particularly stumped as she attempted to explain nunness to an inquisitive first grader. Yeah, sure, we live together, work together, pray together, and all that, but still... I could do that "out there" too. I'm a nun, a Benedictine. So what?

One year ago today, I began this blog. Somehow, I had discovered Susan Rose, and I was really intrigued by this idea of Musings of a Discerning Woman. A big part of my own vocational journey involved a struggle of ''normalcy" (you can stop laughing now!), and I realized what a gift Susan was giving the world of discerners as she shared her story.... and how much something like that would have helped me "back in the day".

Inspired by her openness, I decided to step up and contribute my own perspective on this seemingly odd and freakish journey that is called religious life. True, I'm a little bit removed from the initial discernment process, but I can give the heads-up of what's coming down the road from someone who's been there.

At least, that was how I saw it originally. Reality is .... I haven't said much about the journey at all, or even how I ended up here.

It's something that's been more and more on my mind, especially as I see various bloggy buddies reach various milestones along their way (deepest apologies if I missed anyone!). Religious life is so counter-cultural, and seemingly so rare, and yet to have this community that has formed of all these semi-normal people my age making this choice .... it's kinda cool.

But even cooler than that is the fact of how they use their blogs to spread the word about what this life is and isn't.

Not so cool is the fact that I haven't.

And then the question of this weekend .... how is my way different from the world's way?

Or maybe .... how is my blog different from the world's blog?

I came here to dispel the nun-myths that I myself still hold, but I end up not saying much about them at all. Sure, I talk about deaths and community meetings, and occasionally quote the Rule and/or Scripture, but so what? Lots of other people do that, too.

So .... what is it?

What makes my way different?

Is it different?

This is also especially on my mind as I begin another year with a whole new group of students. What is it that I am portraying to them? And as I get geared up to run this Teen Page blog ... what is it that I will be offering to these youth?

I think some of it is that "nun-denial" that Natty referenced. But I'm beginning my fifth year here. It's time to step up and claim that, despite the fact that I'm a big ol' chicken and constantly nervous about presenting myself as something that I'm not or making myself seem better than I am. I'm so apprehensive about the nun-pedestal that I won't even let myself claim it enough to shatter it.

So I'm rethinking, revisiting, refocusing. My first post spoke of "Blogging my Benedictine experience" .... I think it's time to return to the roots.